i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize