I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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