Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
