Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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