question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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