What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sober January is a disaster.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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