I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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