I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
