the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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