So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
