I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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