the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
