How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
