Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
