So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
