happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize