FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
