I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
