On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A+ Viking dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
