just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
