we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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