are you so shy because you have an std?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize