i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
