Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
