I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
