Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
