this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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