I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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