When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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