she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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