Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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