There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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