who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
