It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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