Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
