Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
