Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
