Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
