butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
