idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how can u be prego again
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
