I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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