Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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