brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
