I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
