i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
