This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
