Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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