i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
