Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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