There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
