i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
