My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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