I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The air taste purple.
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