I wish i was in the wii world.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
