you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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