Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My breasts were aching with rage.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize