I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
