its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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