I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
