This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
