I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize