HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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