He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
