thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
