her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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