Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He passed out mid-signature
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
