I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
