Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Semen is not good for contacts.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize