Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize