Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
