First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
