i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
